Rock Up

My latest tune I'm workin on...

Rock Up

You heard it here first

Click here to listen to HOT NEW OUTKAST SINGLE

Now it's time for a segment called "You heard it here first" where I track down the big music for 2006. This week we have the new Outkast single. This is going to be the next hotness in the States I have no doubt. This is the preview for the new Outkast movie Idlewild. The new single from the new Outkast album of the same title is "The Train" and it's smokin'! Look for it towards the end of the trailer. This one is gonna blow up!

Criminal Illegalo?

Ever had your passport go through the wash? Ever not been able to get back to your home country because you are now an illegal immigrant? If so, don't worry, you'll just have to work the rest of your life pirating in Sumatra...I'll see you out on the high seas.

Rules for pirating:

1. Always make sure you have a good ship...name it something catchy and piratey like...Duncan or The Wandering Swan

2. Use all of your time plotting ways to get gold bullion. Whether it's from another boat or a bag of chocolate candy coins is up to you.

3. Call everyone around you "Matey". If this doesn't go over well, use a stick as a peg leg and tell your mateys how you lost it in the feeding frenzy of '83. Your story of bravado will prevent the beatings you would surely recieve from calling everyone "matey".

4. Find a good ship to plunder. This is key. Don't start too big...not a cruise ship...for your first gig you need a small ship that is well known. Here are some options: A paddle boat driven by Mariah Carey or celebrity of choice, a canoe, an innertube, or a Japanese Whaling vessel.

5. Finally, make a pirate oath. This should be a drawn out decleration of allegiance to the pirate god Sven. Proclaim your undying loyalty to him. Send him snacks on July 3rd (pirate day) and remember to hold a meeting discussing how you can do better to serve him next year.

One of the few later SNL skits that work

CALL ME KOOCH!

HEY NOW, HEY NOW, DON'T DREAM IT'S OVVVEERRR!

HAPPY LATE AUSTRALIA DAY EVERYBODY! Yes that's right Australia has its own "day" so don't mess. It's a day to sit around the barbie...fire up some lamb shanks and throw back some Tooheys...it's Australia day. Play the Crowded House loud...crank that s***

There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're traveling with me

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win

Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof
In the paper today tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the T.V. page

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
We know they won't win


Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum
And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and relief

Hey now, hey now
Don't dream it's over
Hey now, hey now
When the world comes in
They come, they come
To build a wall between us
Don't ever let them win


AND for those of you guitar players out there AHEMsashajeffAHEM here's the chord progression MOTHA!

G A D Bm
Hey now Hey now don't dream its over
G A D Bm
Hey now Hey now when the world comes in
G A
They come They come
D Bm
to build a wall between us
G
They won't win

Now you too can play sold out concerts at the Sydney Opera House like Crowded House...Hey Nowwwwwww

A FULL ATHF EPISODE

Neon Night

BAM

Yeah...that is me.

Strats

Hey there, you know what time of year it is...already. It's time for the videogame world championships. I know all my videogame playing friends out there have been brushing on up their skills (I know I have-Can you say all night Double Dash TIme Trials?) Anyway here's a few tips from my Prima® Strategy guide!

1. Halo 2: On the multiplayer map "Pirate Lagoon", sneak away to the rocky beach outcove to discover a hidden treat. Nestled in the crates is a yellow overshield powerup! Use good timing to land that jump though, or else you may end up in a whale of touble!

2. Mario Kart: Peach giving you a hard time? Make sure you use power slides at her home stadium "Peach Plaza" because with that home field advantage...you know what we mean!! Can you say shell shocked?

3. Donkey Kong Advanced: Diddy's been up to no good this year as he's ruining all the trees in the jungle! Make sure you use the river rapids to safely pass Kong's Kondo and reach The Ostrich District!

4. Splinter Cell: Someone pulling a knife on you? Try a landmine for explosive results! Or better yet, in the level "Vietkong Arcade" use the DDR machine to pull yourself out of a sticky situation!

5. Half Life 2: Sick of driving in the level "Slow Time With Nothing To Do"? Try jumping on a strider! Just make sure he isn't landlocked or you may be in for an electric volt!

Some things you should know...about Chuck Norris...I love it-(Credit of www.chucknorrisfacts.com)

Chuck Norris won ‘Jumanji’ without ever saying the word. He simply beat theliving shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game forfeited.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke thespeed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris’s once laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them.

Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually “Chuck Norris–more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris–robot in disguise,” and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided..

Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhousekick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.

BRAND NEW FOR 2006! ONLY 300 LEFT! GOING FAST!

"At Peandale®, we don't just make bikes, we handcraft them"-Golden Hinz, Producer of Peandale®
Introducing the Peandale® Champion! This brand new automatic 21 speed bike features all the latest technology from Peandale® Labs Switzerland. Marvel at the custom carbon alloy frame designed by Lance!

Experience the shock and awe of fully detachable foot pedals!

Use the bell with built in Peandale® Amplification technology imported from Japan! Find a way home using the built in REFLE.C.T.O.R technology! Make speedy deliveries using the S.H.O.C.K mount silver and rust edition!

Order one today and find yourself a new life in the eyes of a champion!

Robotic New Year?

I say we do away with new year's resolutions and instead propose a new year's question. The question for 2006: Whatcha gonna do with all that junk?

A NEW DAWN

Today we find ourselves at a crossroads. Where to turn in these confusing and temperate times? I think I may have found the answer. Touring this summer 2006 comes FIRE: FLUTES OF DESIRE featuring the talented Himalayan performer Himalayan Jack. LET HIM HEAL YOU WITH THE POWER OF FLUTE
here comes the link: BAM FIRE:Flutes of desire

Mix it up

Sooo I added a link to my music page, give my tunes a whirl. I put up a link to bayFM too where you can hear Lewie JPD's show on every sunday night (featuring Lewie, Steve and myself) and for those of you in Canadia-you can tune it in at 6-8 am in the morning on Sunday...that's right...I live in the future.

Many days away

So this one time...I had this idea for a dream vacation. I planned it all out, right? Planned the whole thing. Got the spread, the beach, the palm trees....planned it all out. I mean I really sat down and planned it. Got it all down. You know what? F'ing lost it
ATHF
I'm sorry but what is it with Australia? Have you heard about this country/continent? I mean...it's not really a big deal...but I live here...for the time being-let me just tell you...if you want to come here you've got to like kangaroos. I mean seriously...you better have grown up with them...because they are everywhere...and they will bite if threatened.