Straws, the facts they don't want you to know...

With their assorted colors and bendable necks, how can one not find straws an atractive product. They advertise that they will make drinking that much easier, but is that really what they're doing?

Fact is, straws are ruining America.

For one, they're making us weak. No longer do we have to pull a glass or bottle to our mouthes. Saving us from lifting and tilting the cup another 3 inches is just creating a generation of weak, helpless consumers. Consumers, that once they become addicted to the straws simple marketing techniques, will become hopelessly dependant on them.

The real truth is straws are not needed. They are just a middleman between your mouth and your drink. Yet each year the straw manufacturers are making millions. Millions of dollars from a product that doesn't even need to exist. Beverage drinkers must not fall prey to the pro-straw agenda that is currently in power in our supermarkets and fastfood destinations. So please, next time you order that Happy Meal, say no to straws, and yes to America...

Wet & Wild

So I decided it was time to start making a difference. I joined the navy and started my training as a SEAL. Now, when you start off training as a SEAL you think, "this is great, SEAL team alpha is gonna save the world". Next thing you know you're running detination drills in a training pool outside a Holiday Inn in Baton Rouge. I know you know what I mean...we've all been there. Little known fact about the SEAL's, every morning they drink a special blend, the blood of 1,000 wolves. It's hard to get used to. Another thing I wasn't ready for is how every day you spend so much time in the water. You wake up, you're in the water. You go to the bathroom, you're in the water. You get the mail, you're in the water. You get the point. I know that after all these trials and tribulations, my hard work will be rewarded when we finally begin our mission and kill those damn whales.
Semper Fi

BE NICE

Is being nice overrated? In today's day and age of fast cars, genetically altered birds, people using things for things, and the like, who has time to be nice? I know I at least try to be nice. I feel like it's my responsibility to thank someone when they fix my gps navigation on the yacht. I feel it necessary to praise the workmanship of the person who shines the emblem on the hood of my BMW. Giving thanks is important. It's important at times when you really should be grateful, like the opening weekend of Garfield: The movie 2. It's also important at times even when no one asks of you to be giving, like Christmas. All in all we need to be nice and give thanks more. I mean, just the other day I was sitting in a park, just minding my own business on my vespa, when suddenly, someone asked me if they could hop on for a ride. Well, against my best judgement, I decided to let the lucky fellow experience the power of the twin V6 engine (you only can get that customly installed and imported from the Italian online store). So, he has a little joy ride around the small park, and when he finishes it, he stands up and accidentally tears my seat cushion with part of his cell phone clipped on his pants. Now, I looked up at the sky and thought, how can this happen to me, I tried to do a good deed for someone and look how I am repaid. Now I have a ruined Vespa that just gathers dust in my garage. I seriously have to ship it back overseas just for the new seat cushion. Here's my point: we're all a little afraid to be nice. You know why? I'll give you a hint, it's not because we've all got gold plated rims imported from Italy. Nope. It's because of one thing:

Crowding caused by overpopulation of pandas.
and if that doesn't suit you
It's because of Shaq.