It has come to this

Well...having run out of options I've done what any respectable man in my situation would do. I've formed a gang. That's right...you heard me right...stop looking in shock. We call ourselves "The Eighth Street Beauties". By day we work on the fisherman's warf and by night we cause mischief in the town square and by the old grandfather clock. Our mischief making consists of taking old lady Whelmboldon's prize goose and setting her free in the courtyard, stealing the fresh pig skins from the butchery and playing "Findies, Keepsies" with them, and taking Mr. Applecrests prize tomatoe garden out for a little nightly drive. At dawn we usually go to the falls behind Mr. Montathews estate and bath in the rising sunlight dew. Then we start it all over again. If we're lucky Mrs. Cogingtham will make us her delcious "Strawberry Surprise" for a quick brekkie.
If I'm not too busy I roll with my other gang
they're in the pic
don't F**k with us

We steal zoo animals.

Plutowned

How many of you remember learning that Pluto was the 9th planet in our solar system in school. Now how do you feel knowing that all those years were a lie. Scientists have now decided that Pluto is too small to be considered a real planet and have officially declared it to be a "Dwarf Planet". The Anti-Pluto Activists have been promoting such slander for years now, and I still don't buy it. Thats like saying weener dogs aren't real dogs because they're too small. Is that the kind of world you want to live in? A world where weener dogs dont exist? Well that's just the kind of world you'll have if you let these "scientists" and their anti-Pluto agenda have their way. So before you take the white out to your encyclopedias, take a step back and really look at this situation. Think of what I said. Think of Pluto. And please... think of weener dogs.

Why you should hate Toaster Pastries

Fact: Generic toaster pastries are ruining America.

Each year millions of these boxes are shipped across the nation to sit on store shelves just next to the Pop Tarts. They attract you with the 40 cents savings and supposed healthy benifits. They look like Pop Tarts, what can go wrong?

How about everything.

Fact: Pop Tarts are delicious

Fact: "Toaster Pastries" taste like raw fish covered in gasoline

Steroid-Gate

AP Washington D.C.- A Friday Morning test has reconfirmed earlier allegations leaked by a White House correspondent. President Bush will now face new scrutiny after testing positive for Human Growth Hormone. Those close to the President have already cast doubts about his future. “Its certainly troublesome.” Commented, Senator Kerry, d. MA, “Can the record books be
erased?” The newest allegations bring stir controversy. Republican Majority Leader William H. Frist shared his opinion in a press briefing, “It’s well documented that President Clinton was on a high protein diet, Americans must be skeptical.” Although Grover Cleveland was nearly subpoenaed by the Senate in 1894; this is the first major conviction of a United States President for performance enhancing drugs.

WW3?

Everybody's talking about WW3 these days...you know what I say? I can't go for that