Space Dreams

Most people don’t know this but I’m an amateur astronaut. At the tender age of five my pops found me flying my kite in the solar wind. It wasn’t that I was extraterrestrial, like most astronauts, it’s just that I had this lunar module that I couldn’t get off my mind. Early mornings before school my mom would wake me up, I’d jump in the shower, take a quick trip to mars, and then pour myself a bowl of Honey Comb. At school, my friends wanted to play, or do drugs, or learn, all I did was moon buggy. Once it was legal, I started on asteroids… just the outer belt. After college on the sun, I met my wife at the international space station. When I saw her sitting in that Starbucks, sipping zero gravity latté, I knew our shuttle would last forever. Honeymoon on the ring planet. I got an interplanetary nine to five, and a nice condo in a suburban solar system. Now we have three adorable moonbeams.

Why am I still angry? Space lice? Martian traffic? Shaving? NO.

I’m angry because space is cold, dark, and mostly full of nothing.

Robotmastrash

So I was at the local pharmacy the other day just purchasing some cough drops because I'm deathly ill. Apparently around these parts there's something called "winter" that comes every year. I'm sorry but I'm used to tropics with penguins and unlimited supplies of beach. My system can't handle the stress of building fire to fend off the coyotes that now stalk my house at night. Anyway I'm getting off topic. So I was paying with my debit card when the machine asked me to input my "special code". "Special code?" I thought to myself, as I pondered what it meant. Then it dawned on me. November. Going into December. December has Christmas in it. Christmas was the birth of Jesus who invented robotics. Robots have wars. They need codes for the wars. Another robot war is upon us.
Do you follow me?
Good.

Because I'm deathly ill I'm turning this into a two parter

...Part 2:

I read this article online recently about a "vortex of trash" in the ocean to the northwest of Hawaii-here's the link:
(You have to copy and paste it cause I'm rusty with my java html scripting)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20061105/sc_nm/environment_plastic_dc

So here's my question: If you can stand on this Texas-sized trash continent in the Pacific, can it be claimed? Can I go there and start a new world of floating trash nomads? (basically "Waterworld") Would there be laws or could it be like a psudeo western samurai battle ground where only the sword ruled until we figured out how to make plastic trash guns? Did all the whales pack up and move to trashland already? Can I go fight them there?
I've clearly taken too many advil.
So until next time, stay literate, and keep using the wonders of computers for youtube clip watching (those Borat clips are HILarious!)