Monkey Fights Golden Leopard

http://imdb.com/title/tt0198778/


Climactic and engaging. This film represents the pinnacle of the monkey/leopard fighting genre. The part where the monkey and the leopard fought was so good because they were really portraying symbolism of how the prohibition laws were being ratified. Anyways, the part where the monkey finds the bag of money is pure gold. With an Oscar-worthy performance, and brilliant script, the monkey really pulled out one of the most dramatic scenes. For example, when the monkey was trying to save the leopards life, after he realised they were much alike, and you could tell he felt bad for fighting him, that really made me start crying right then and there. Also, the leopard was a brilliant contrast to the monkey. It was a great casting call on the directors part. If you liked this film, you should really check out the sequel, Monkey fights Golden Leopard 2: And the Legend of Golden Leopards gold. That ones more of a buddy comedy on the streets of LA. See the monkeys an average business man, but his brothers moving into his apartment, and hes a wacky partying leopard. Comedy is all that ensues.

Holiday Hot Item!

It's the end of September and Christmas is just around the corner! Can't you just hear Santa chuckle and shake with delight? I know I can! Soon the snows will be upon us and we will need toys to appease the young. Well, I was just doing some browsing for the new holiday hot items on msn shopping and it turns out this year the must buy product is JAGUAR CUBS! JAGUAR CUBS are back this year and they're better than evar! New 2.0 Bluetooth capabilites featuring 1080pi def all around the board. Wi-fi access from up to 200 meters and even underwater! Built in digital camera for those must have jpeg moments! Support arm for easy mall mounting! I heard that the boys over at digitalshopper just got their pre-release JAGUAR CUBS and they couldn't stop bragging about the new brightness on the display panel! "It's like I'm seeing JAGUAR CUBS for the first time" said Bill O'Henshaw.
So, if I were you, I'd go out and pre-order your JAGUAR CUBS today. I know they'll be sold out on launch day because they couldn't make enough Japanese shipments!
MERRY X-MAS AND HAPPY SHOPPING!
-The team

Taste the Mammal

When I get sick where do I turn? Medi-vac? Witch doctors? Antibiotics? Ointments? Tiger Balm? NO. I go straight to the source of all healing. SCHWEPPES.

Down and out? Tummy hurting? Mothers around the world know that nothing hits the spot like a crisp Schweppes Ginger Ale. Why is Schweppes so finger licking good? I’ll tell you why.

Let’s start at the beginning. In 1783 Jacob Schweppes took a magical carpet ride to Geneva. One night, with ginger schnapps on his lips, Jacob fell upon a hidden fountain. Erupting geysers flew into the air, filling a pool of deep fizzy wonder. Swimming through the pool dolphins splashed and played, flippers gently stirring this mysterious solution.

Today every bottle of Schweppes is embossed with a symbol and signed by Jacob himself. Jump on the fast train to health, swim with the dolphins, and shake the hand of the genius, every bottle is a capsule of that ancient fountain. Go ahead, refresh your soul.

ANDRE

Don't think I don't bleed for Arthur Ashe and his arena. I was there in '73 when we held off the floods in Montreal and I'll be there when they unfreeze him. But the tantrum that Andre Agassi threw at the end of his last match ever this past US Open will forever bring shame to the Ashe name. Now, if you're a junior tennis "phenom" like me, then I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. At the end of his shameful, shameful loss, Agassi wept like a child. OK fine, I'll let that slide...showing tears on the court is very offensive and the Inca's killed for less during handball matches but hey...he won a few things or something so he deserves some emotional time. Then he gave a nice speech to the crowd...ok that's fine too. Next he gave final goodbye waves and left the court. Sounds fine, right? Well, if you left your tv on long enough (and were on the ATATT channel-All Tennis All The Time) you would have witnessed one of the most shocking events in sports history. Agassi came back on the court after about twenty minutes, and started lighting the net on fire with a barbacue lighter while dropping multiple "N" words on the remaining crowd (mostly "Nicaragua" and "Neoprene"). Then he went into the umpires chair and used the blow horn to sing a complete rendition of "Cry me a river" by JT (my dawg) to the audience. Finally, in a last hurrah, he swept the court with his tennis bag and yelled "NOW I HAVE TO CLEAN ALL THE FILTH IN ASHE'S HOUSE BECAUSE THE DOGS MADE IT DIRTY".
I was shocked
I had to leave the room
I can only think of one other thing that really made me this upset
and that was something I try to forget
getting kicked out of CP UNIVERSITY
and that was only a little more shocking...but it did really get to me...I mean how am I going to feed my kids now without that CP diploma of technical sledding?...MotherF****r's

Cheese and Crankers

Today I started things out right. Chugged a fridge-pack of crank.

First thing I did, made some Cheerios, sprinkled on a lil' crank.

Maybe you haven't yet seen the global phenomenon that are making people say, "I want to defile my 'Culture and Gender' teacher."

Crank. In theaters. Now. Want a movie that makes you thrust your reclining chair into the fragile knees of the person sitting behind you? Get Cranked. Want high octane, perspiration smeered, H-train loaded, davondinho dabbling, dijon on pomp, get me a poland spring because my throat just can't take anymore crank? Yeah go see it. And go pray for the children.

And call that teacher.

Hoodwinked by Thomas

Pull out your 3D glasses and feast your eyes on a crook.

Thomas Edison was a hoax.

Anyone with eyes knows that the sun is really made of thousands of little light bulbs. Halogen, incandescent, ultraviolet, Panasonic, flashlights, the “planet” is just loaded with bulbs.

Don’t believe me? “Burning gaseous mass” you say? Lies. I’ll prove it.

Look at the sun. No? Look harder. Maybe a magnifying glass would help?

Tell a friend. Ignorance is un-American. I bleed red white and blue, do you?