"NOW KISS HIS MOUTH"

"I WAS RAISED ON THE DAIRY"

DATE

Let's imagine the image above is a really hot girl. Let's all focus now on how to woo the girl with my 5 easy steps for mastering the art of dating.

1. Once you know the name of the girl you wish to date...buy her a pasta dinner and get it all over your face. This goes over really well.

2. Make sure you have a really nice car to impress her. Try something like a Windstar mini van.

3. Write a song about her. Try to include lyrics like: "when we're together I get rainbowish inside" and "how many times must I walk to town before you'll let me back in the house"

4. Pick up a skill. Obviously it's good to have skills. I think there's some movie that covers this point. Anyway, get a really cool skill that no other guy would ever have. Here is my list of skills: Interpretive Dance, Sauce Making, Art Design and Fashon week planning, Recycler, Extreme off road tape playing. This is why I get the women.

5. Finally, start up your own business so she knows you're reliable. This could be any number of things. Coffee shop, Reel to Reel machine cleaning store, pet house for pets on vacation. I reccomend something flashy like rap artist recording shop.

Once you have all of these things, you will get the Manitee. And if you don't, maybe you'll get girls.

All your questions answered

Feeling confused? Maybe lonely? Wondering if life has something bigger and better in store for you? I think you can find the answer to all these questions and more HERE (Warning, this is a virtual reality simulation of real life in beta test mode...people who can't handle strobe lights and people with heart conditions are warned)

Storm Clouds

Link---> Storm Clouds

I watched the film "Capote" the other day and the music inspired me to do this piece.

HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW

I NO LONGER LIVE IN AUSTRALIA
I live in a place called "Limbo" now
let me tell you about it

In Limbo, you wake up at 12 noon and then proceed to cook yourself scooby doo kraft macoroni and cheese. Then...around 3 you decide to pull yourself from the couch and lift pounds of metal at the local gym center. Then, you run around a loop for a few minutes and proceed to a house where you once lived. Then, you take your overweight dog for a walk.

Total days left in Limbo: 14ish

Austin....?

Oh yeah...shout out to my dawgs Ronald and Keifer. They helped me with my college basketball brackets.

Arguably the best ATHF episode ever