I'm back

I took a hiatus from writing and let my good buddy and chief editor Kief Rockchild Dragonheart take over my daily shifts. The result has been an endless stream of good times and great oldies. In other news...I thought it'd be a good time to post some new movie reviews. Hence the "movie revue" pic.

Review of Elizabethtown: I just saw this movie a few minutes ago so I'm still a little fresh off it. It hasn't really sunk in to the depths I think it will reach by the time I go to bed. In the meantime, I can say this...Elizabethtown is a real place and not a character in the movie. And as much as you would think a movie with the name "Elizabethtown" would be about a girl named Elizabeth...it's more so about long trips down dirt roads and finding the right airline. I think there's some gunfights thrown in. Although that could have just been the half hour I fell into a trance and had nam flashbacks...I warn you that this movie may cause those...a lot. And it will also throw a lot of mix cd's at you. So much so that you may find yourself thinking you're not watching a movie but standing in a Virgin Records store at a listening booth. C plus D = F

Silent Hill: Well here's a shocker. Again, a film with a deceiving title. I was expecting a lot of silent things on a hill. Instead I got a lot of running...a lot of screaming...a lot of dead baby zombies...a man with a triangle for a head who rips people's skin off...buildings falling down...ash raining from the sky...witch hunters...more running...excessive flashlight use...and people who don't know how to speak lines off without sounding like they're reading off items at a checkout counter. Silent Hill did have its' own undeniable charm, though. The part with Jimmy Fallon dancing was kind of funny...you know that part when he dances with the girl in the city? What? That's not Silent Hill? What movie was that in? It's a commercial? ...sigh...ok fine-F

Fun with Dick and Jane: Well I'd like to pretend this movie is a comedy. It's not. It's a sad, sad story about a family that loses their homes and their jobs because of outsourcing of American jobs. I learned a lot about the economy though. I will give it points for its' educational value. Let's see...also it has lawns...that's a plus...and running...never too much of that in a movie. So I'll be fair. D+J=...F+

V for Vendetta: OK FINALLY...here's a movie that deserves more than a F. I mean...it's got scary clown masks in it...that's cool. Let me break it down for you. V is kind of like a superhero. But he's a mixed up superhero. He likes to blow up buildings and kill police officers...I mean...he's a pretty good superhero. Then there's the batcave that he lives in. It's like a museum and he collects stuff and sells it on ebay. So not only does he blow up buildings and kill police officers...he's computer savvy, too. I mean this is my kind of superhero. He's also kind of a mutant...but kind of not...maybe he's really an animal? It's never really established but it's hinted at that he's actually a (WARNING EXTREME SPOILER COMING UP) secret agent harp seal who uses his flippers to build computers. But...they leave that open ended. In the end...a bunch of animals escape from the zoo and walk around the city. (OTHER MAJOR SPOILER ALERT) It's actually a prequel to the movie "Madagascar" and explains how the penguins got arrested and sent to the zoo in the first place. (They killed a man).
Final Score: Penguins 1 Humans 0=A+